Truths Hidden in Death and Separation

 

 

P.P. Cherian

We realize how unpredictable life is when we witness certain bereavements and separations. This is underlined by two incidents that have shaken my mind in the past week. One, the death of a dear person who was like an elder brother. Two, a relationship that was supposed to be going well after the engagement suddenly broke down in an instant. When we combine these two experiences, we realize that the lines of the devotional poet Poonthanam have a timeless meaning.

'Kandukandukandirika samaan bhavan ku samaan ku samaan ku samaan...'

These lines from Jnanapanna remind us not only of the inevitability of death, but also of the impermanence of human relationships.

It is an unbearable shock when someone close to our hearts suddenly turns into a mere memory. Death is the law of nature; there, man is helpless. Although the emptiness created by the separation of loved ones is terrible, another 'invisibility' that is even more painful is increasing in our society today. It is the severing of ties while still alive.

After the engagement, the wedding of a friend's son was canceled after even distributing invitations. Here too, Poonthanam's lines are meaningless. Those who were seen with love and respect for many years become strangers or enemies in an instant. If death is God's will, then such relationship breakdowns are self-inflicted tragedies.

In the older generation, marriage was a sacred contract based on compromise and tolerance. But the changes seen in today's young generation are worrying:

Relationships that break down in the face of trivial disagreements and disputes. A mindset that is not ready to give up even a little in front of another person. The way in which marriage is viewed as a mere social ceremony or financial security.

'Bhawan that is not seen' refers not only to the physical end, but also to the disappearance of a relationship that existed in an instant. The wound caused by death may heal with time, but the psychological impact that such separations that occur while alive cause on parents and family is indescribable.

Life is full of uncertainties. We must have the conviction that those we are with can become memories at any time. With that realization, we can put aside ego and arguments and love and hold each other close. Poonthanam's visions of shaping a society where love and mutual respect prevail remains relevant even today.